Dont say a word!

Ok so i've not posted since the 9th and its now the, erm, 23rd. Sorry but unemployment sort of takes away any reason to know the date, other than to know when your supposed to be down the job centre pretending to be better than the hordes of other useless fucktards that also cant be arsed to get a job. Ok that was overly harsh. Some of us are just unlucky fucktards.

This post is more of a sort of stop gap until i get more news. News that i dont really want to ellaborate on because after 6 months on the dole i have learnt that disappointment does infact hide behind every corner and so i dont want to jinx it. Oh what the hell! The way i see it karma owes me a thing or two, so here it goes. I think i might just about have got a real actual job that pays genuine real money for doing proper work. Its with an organisation that call themselves the GSCC. They regulate social workers. All in all it is the result of a fantastic interview with two great girls who i will official defend to the death should the need arrise, if they do in fact give me the job. My fate is currently resting in the hands of my references. Dr Chris "The Emperor" Aldous and Mr Steve "get in his shorts" Lewitt. (He shouted it at football once as an instruction to our defenders.) And if your looking for inspiration guys, here are 10 suggestions for things to say to help me get the job:

1) Despite having his finger up his nose a lot of the time, Jonathan can infact type very well with just one hand.

2) He wont spend his entire time on facebook or ebay, just most of it.

3) He sucks a solitair, so no worries about him wasting time with that. (Though he hasn't given up on minesweeper as yet.)

4) After only an hour he WILL be able to tell you what shade of teal your wall paint actually is.

5) He knows exactly what will happen in all stages of radiation sickness and so will be invaluable during the weeks that follow the Third World War.

6) He will be able to update the organisations zombie defence plan.

7) If asked he could organise a organisation wide "Activity Wednesday"!

8) He is trained in the arts of the Finbar Nile school of white balancing.

9) Jonathan can deal with anything you throw at him due to his incredable dodging skills and

remarkable ability to make the most of any surrounding cover.

10) He can un-jam a photocopier in under a minute with use only a sledge hammer and a pick axe.

Right then, coming up on Joninachinashop.blogspot.com
- Things i've learnt from Woman's Hours.

- How to survive in Battle Field 2.

Yeah, i know, i'm disappointed that there weren't pictures to go with each of those 10 points of my self greatness, but i've still got to learn a hell of a lot more research for the Battle Field 2 article, bloody land mines.....

Can YOU run it?

Well can you? Or rather can that aging machine your using cope with todays heart breakingly system heavy games? You do?! Well thats great, good for you! But for the rest of us there is this rather fantastic web tool (www.systemrequirementlab.com/referrer/srtest) which will tell you everything you need to know about just how crap, or fantastic your computer really is. I'm in a good mood now because i learnt that this PC (NOT the old battered thing in my room, the other PC) has the minimum requires for most of the games i like the look of. No, not the newest flashy games that they are still advertising for, the slightly older games that are about 2 or 3 years old now. Mind you, meeting the minimum requires doesn't mean it'll work that well, so i'm going to have to pick and choose my titles very carefully before finding they dont work and then take them back to the shop the day after!

Not to mention i'm HORRENDOUSLY poor at the moment, soon to become all the more worse off once the DVLA get my car tax through. (Yeah, so poor i had to use BLOCK CAPITALS, italics and bold to emphasize my point!)

Right, so while i'm off lying in a gutter somewhere bemoaning why i cant run Medieval 2 Total War despite the fact that its a game now gracing the bargin bin, come and kick me while i'm down by telling me what fun it was for you a few years ago and then finish me off with the proverbial machine gunning by saying how great it is having your PS3's, X-box 360's Wii's and GOD-PCs.

Though if you want to make me cry use the following sentance:

"Whats that dusty thing next to your TV? A Playstation 2? Do they still even make those?"

Well at least this week i'm not complaining about how useless my degree was or how i still haven't got a job yet... FYI i have an interview on Monday (i as surprised as you are!) so no doubt you'll get to hear all about it next week.