Metal Gear Solid was a fantastic game on the original Playstation (or PS1 to all you people who are down with the kids). It was a game of sneaking around and thinking, something that is noticeably lacking in most modern games. It was fun and relatively easy to get into, the hallmarks for me of every "great" game i've ever played. Anyway, about a year or so back (maybe more, i cant remember) Jay, a guy who turns up in the subject matter of this blog far too much, passed on to me his PS2 games collection. Now i've been playing my way through these and have finally got to Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. Remembering how much fun the first game was i put the game disc into my aging games cons
ole and awaited the menu screen. I then utterly forgot that for some stupid reason the select button in these games is "O" not "X" and proceeded to spend 5 minutes trying to work out why the damn thing wasn't working. Once my spaz attack subsided and the game finally got its way through some rather lengthy opening cut scenes (it appears the makers were going for a Tom Clancy book film adaptation style), i finally got to play the game. After 30 minutes i put it down again, put the disc back in its box and put the box to the bottom of the game pile because, as i've mentioned before, this game sucks. Here's why: First off, the character you play is some annoyingly skinny guy who has ridiculously non-special forces long blond hair and wears a far too tight hi-tech special forces suit thing which leaves nothing to the imagination and makes him look less super-spy and more gymnastics female entry for London 2012. Oh and he has a stupid voice too, which you'll get to hear all the time by the way because, and here's what really pisses me off about this game, there is far to much dialogue. Every 5 minutes, sometimes less there is either a cut scene or some one talking to you over the radio. (All the radio sections are effectively cut scenes as well, turns out our man cant move around or doing anything else when someone is on the phone to him.) Over the radio you'll get a fantastic selection of various boring characters giving you mindlessly trivial exposition about nothing, which also includes a woman who appears to be our boys girl friend, (incidentally, her name is Rose, annoying in itself for me because it always brings back the hours i wasted going to see Titanic at the cinema) and all she seems to go on about is repeatedly asking our guy whats special about tomorrow's date for them and telling him to "be careful" when someone else is trying to radio in important intel. The other thing that made me put this game down are the controls, as for some reason they made using a gun fucking impossible. The new system of having to find a computer terminal to access your personal radar in each different "building section" also takes away much of the fun from the game and as the camera angles are mostly useless this is another aspect i dislike.
Ok rant over about a game that is so old i'm probably the only one that has played it this year in the entire world. Besides, what with my images and all i don't want to ape Zero Punctuation too much! (But the game sucked so much and ruined my day that i couldn't not write about it!)The real reason i'm pissed off is because i have one almighty ulcer on the under side of my tongue and i cant think for the life of me how i got it. The bongela has since numbed half my tongue and its taking a lot of effort not to choke to death.
So have i heard back from the GSCC? Well no. They have both my references in now so there really isn't an excuse. I WANT MY JOB OFFER DAMN IT!
(I'm calling them tomorrow. Unless of course this post goes out tomorrow, in which case i called them today and you'll get an update next post.)
Next week: Jon's guide to leaving University.
(You will never get that Woman's Hour post! Never! Never! MWHAHAHA!)
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