Hot Potato.

Well if my last post taught me anything it is that people dont like me when i'm bitter and talking about politics and current affairs. Though if another big war were to break out i might not be able to helpy myself from at least one or two comments. (Watch out North Korea, there is a real zinger coming your way upon the start of another gloriously un-planned bit of American foreign Policy. - Yeah i know, i'll stop now...)

Thus from now on i'm going to keep away from these minefields of opinion and stick to what i know, drawing poor quality pictures on MS Paint, writing about my job hunt and maybe reviewing the occasional film.

So without further adue....a-do...adew....sod it: The Juno review.

This is with out doubt one of the best films you will see this year. I know we're only a few months in but Juno has played a real blinder here. In fact i have very little bad to say about it, so little i'll get it out of the way now. The title credits didn't work for me, it is entirely subjective on my part, but i just didn't like the style - a sort of 80's pop video sketch format that really should be left rotting in its own juices back in that decade. My only other gripe is with Michael Cera, the guy who played the boyfriend not holding his own next to the outstanding Ellen Page, our lead. However this isn't really fair as he really didn't have that much to do. Adequate is probably the word i'm looking for here.
Right, now that's out of the way, lets talk film. The story revolves around a 16 year old girl called Juno living in Anytown USA. (No not the same Anytown USA as featured in Aliens Vs Predator Requiem!) Anyway, she finds out she's pregnant and the story follows her journey, from pregnancy test, through to telling her parents, finding a foster family consisting of some random bloke and the woman from Alias (or Elektra if you are into the whole woefully bad super hero films thing) and finally to the delivery room. I wont tell you any more about the plot just in case the small demographic this blog is frequented by hasn't seen it yet despite my recommendations. (Go out there and see it like i told you to do damn you!) What i will tell you is that the film has some good performances by a cast that knew what it was doing, shot by a equally good if not better film crew, written by someone else who also has got it together professionally and them rounded off by a person with a half decent record collection. The film was enjoyable from start to finish, although not as "hilarious" as a lot of the reviews i read before going to see it were calling it. It did make me laugh, but mostly got a consistent level of amused chuckles from myself and the audience i shared the cinema with. As i have practically already said, i whole hearted recommend this film to anyone, well maybe not to anyone who went to see Aliens Vs Predator Requiem for "the story". Yeah, guys i know, it sounds far to much like a "girly" movie, but give it a chance ok?

What do you mean why haven't i commented on how it deals with the tricky issue of teenage pregnancy? I just told you i'm staying away from that type of thing from now on. No, i did, scroll up to the top of this post if you want.....see! I count it as both political AND current affairs!

Time for the usual update about my job hunt. Progress in this area seems about as difficult as a Rubik cube for me, if you'll excuse the incredibly poor analogy. And like a Rubik cube or even analogies for that matter, seem to be very easy to do for other people but neigh impossible for me. Its get worse because as i cannot solve a Rubik cube i'll never make it past the first couple of tests for astronaut training with NASA. Guess i'll just keep plodding on and hope that something, sometime, somewhere will turn up. 11th hour syndrome and fluke seem to me to be two of my greatest attributes so no doubt they'll kick in soon. Either that or my CV will have to its skills section cut a bit.

Anything else? Well Clare didn't get into Oxford drama school which is a little disappointing (i want a rich success actress girl damn it!), but she has plenty of others that are having her in for auditions so not a unrecoverable loss. Oh and about these drama schools, i get testing the suitability of candidates by having them recite a speech from a play for you. That makes sense, it is after all what acting types are supposed to do, if you dont count all that airy fairy nonsense. However i dont get how getting them to be Elephants or penguins or 60% elephant and 40% penguin can possibly tell you anything about someones acting ability.

Next week: Why Starting off Recruitment aren't who they say they are.

Untitled one.

A week, (or is it two?) late, i have no real excuse. Nor, really, do i need one. But in all fairness this post is huge so it should easily make up for my "deadbeat blogging."

First the stuff i promised you from the last post.

THE TAX SYSTEM. - Your guide to being royally screwed out of your hard earned cash by an ineffective and corrupt governmental body.

(DISCLAIMER: Not all figures or facts in this article may be exactly correct but are based on information possed by the author upon date of writing and thus are subject to change and abduction and re-education of the author by the government.)

First off, they should really teach this sort of thing in schools. I am not kidding around. It is just plain wrong not telling people whats in store for them. Maybe if children knew how much they are costing the state in terms of education more of them wouldn't waste it like they did. Or maybe not. In fact definitely not. It sounds harsh, but cast your mind back to the people you went to school with. Now you should have an image of some of the "problem" children (some refer to them as the schools chav infestation). You remember them, the ones that used the word "whatever" a lot and when not disrupting the class were off somewhere smoking. Now imagine trying to teach these useless bastard children about how the government is going to take a lot of any money they will earn. Yeah, they either aren't there or aren't interested. I wonder where they are now? Actually i dont care, moving on...

Technically the average tax rate in this country is about 30% of your income. But before you say thats quite reasonable remember to add the covert tax that the government calls National Insurance. Right, thats got it up to about 36%. Now apply these costs to a wage of say, lets see, the average starting salary us smart arse graduates (not those bastard engineers that backed the right horse, nor the law graduates or any of the people you knew at uni who were from "money"), which i hear is about 14-18k. So yeah, 14k. Now lets take away all that tax and you are left with about 9k a year. Yeah, hurts doesn't it. But we aren't finished here, take away council tax as well and make sure you add the 4% increase they've just put on it. That wage of yours isn't looking as good as it did now is it? And aren't all the wastes of public money even more annoying then they were? Plus what the hell has the government done for you lately? And finally how can local councils be charging more but actually now be providing less services than they did?!

Now dont jump to conclusions. I am not, despite what i've just written a right wing conservative in favour of abolishing the welfare state. Far from it. Its just taking into account all this money that "the man" takes from the hard working (yes i know, but i hope to be employed soon, i dont live this way out of choice!) people of this country, the billions (and just stand back a moment and think exactly how much that actually is) that the government takes in, dont you think that this nation of ours should be a much better than it currently is?

And now for something completely different....

How to win at online First Person Shooters!

Actually no, i'm not going to tell you.

This is because:

1) If i give you tips you'll end up using them against me.

AND

2) Because i have no idea!

It is probably best to keep away from them because most of them are populated by people that take it WAY to seriously and / or have played the game so much they have mastered all aspects of the game and are virtually unbeatable. And to quote South Park: "How do you kill that which has no life?"

In other news...

This weekend was awesome! The night out on Friday for Al's housemate Emma's birthday, the Saturday nursing a slight hangover and the Sunday of simulated combat!

All Absolutely FAN - FU - KING - TASTIC!

Even, if the people that turned up to the site were a bit, colourful....

Al has a fantastic house, great house mates and a genuinely interesting degree! Buddy you've got it made!

Now onto jobs...

Well yet again i don't have anything new to say really. I keep sending out more and more applications and as yet have gotten anything worth while from the experience. My CV is as good as its going to get and i'm applying for anything and everything that i'm qualified to. I'm not sure exactly what it is i've done to offend every employer in the entire Midlands region so much as to only deserve negative replies from some of them and utter silence from the rest. Literally the only positive response i've had is from Wolsey Construction in Banbury and even they have said that; "due to the large number of applicants, we want to keep your application on hold for 6-8 weeks". Bearing in mind that they first did this when i initially applied to them and then, 10 weeks later, they come back saying that they'd like to telephone interview me, click on this link to book one and then presented me with an e-mail response that read; "due to the large number of applicants, we want to keep your application on hold for 6-8 weeks." No doubt they would string me along like this for all eternity if they could.

On the positive side i am in the process of contacting job agencies. I have 6 difference agencies on the go and will keep to this number to keep things simple. Maybe this new route will lead to something.

......

On a final note, could Woman's hour on BBC radio 4 please stop acting surprised that having children is difficult. I mean what did all these people expect?! Lets get one thing straight Jenny Murray, raising children is hard, new born babies aren't all fun and games and that's not even starting with the issues surrounding giving birth and pregnancy.

The people (not just women, men too) phoning in were unbelievable at points! They are surprised that a new born will take up all their time and energy and don't see why all their bastard children are so time consuming. They cant seem to understand why they complain all the time and yet their parents never did and made it look easy. It is because they were from a generation that didn't complain, have constant worries about what they should be "feeling", weren't competing with their friends for most perfect parent award and were definitely not so self involved and materialistic! And it wasn't easy! They went through exactly what you did / are and without all the benefits of modern child care etc..., the difference being they didn't incessantly bitch about it! PARENTS OF BRITAIN! TOUGHEN UP ALREADY!

(Disclaimer: This is NOT a shot at all modern parents. Nor is it a shot at women. It is a shot at a minority of people, most likely just the ones that phoned into Woman's hour.)

Next week: The Juno Film review.

The price of money.

Firstly you'll note that i've moved posting day to Wednesday, no it's not to become even more like Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation, it's because i find that i have more to say around mid week and despite the generally improvement in my Paint skills (none of that Paintshop Pro round here!), it still takes ages to put together the art work. Just think now you can in theory combine the newest Joninachinashop.blogspot.com post, Zero Punctuation AND Orange Wednesdays at the cinema all in one day! What a wonderful modern world we live in!

I suppose some background information is required before i go on a tell my little tale. About 2 weeks ago i purchased my first car. (Everybody awwww....) It is a 1.3 Ford KA in bright red with 37k on the clock and is 7 years old. It was a fantastic price, with very little mileage for its age so i jumped at it. Viewed it on the Thursday and bought it on the Friday off i nice family in Loughborough. It was quickly named Yuna. (After a character in a game that i am playing at the moment. I'm not sure why i decide on that name, it just sort of fit, just run with it.) The last two weeks have been a sort of honeymoon period, me and Yuna skipping hand in hand across the Northamptonshire countryside. However today was the annual service. And although i still love her very much, the honeymoon period for me and Yuna is effectively over. Or at least over until i forget the financial pain she has put me through today. I always knew cars were expensive, but i guess the reality of that would have to hit home at some point. But enough complaining! I love my new toy!

In other news Neighbours, after sitting around on BBC1 for longer than anyone can remember has moved to Channel Five. On the downside it means that it has a advert break in the middle and has Five in the top left hand corner of the screen all the time. On the plus side its been moved to its old time slots of 1.45 and 5.30. Which from an unemployed point of view is great! It means that you can have lunch at a decent time! (As lunch time is governed by TV schedualling.)Although i wonder if the Neighbours advert where all the Neighbours cast are running around bring excited about their move to Five really reflects how they really feel about it.

As for the job situation, the supposed main premise of this blog, well i went for a tour and "informal chat" about a job in information services at Northampton University. (I know, i couldn't say Northampton "University" with a straight face either, but they do give out their own degrees now...) I'm not sure how you could informal it actually was, i mean i was wearing my suit after all, but they did seem to like me and it was quite chatty. Anyway, i find out if i get an interview on Thursday so fingers crossed! As always i have a number of other applications on the go. I've yet to see the sheer weight of numbers tactic pay off, but then so did the Russians at Stalingrad so we'll see. (Yes i did just make that comparison.)

Well thats your lot for this week. Next week Joninachinashop.blogspot.com reviews the Tax system and how to succeed in online first person shooters.

Oh and good luck with choosing something for Valentine's Day brothers!